I went back to the vets office last Friday to pick up her ashes, and while I thought I was prepared emotionally to be back in the place where I said goodbye, my emotions started to grab hold while I was in line! I watched another dog come out of an exam room and I glanced at her last exam room! Bad idea the dam was starting to break, by the time I reached the desk the tears had started as I tried to hold them back I told the receptionist I was there to pick up Bella Rae's ashes, (and every time I think about it I get teary eyed)! The dam was falling apart! While the receptionist went to the back to get her I waited and tried to put my emotions in check but found it difficult. The office was full of people and I felt like they were all watching me! She brought Bella out in a nice velvet bag and was carrying another little bag, then said "they sent this too, do you want them?" And in the little bag is the parts from her TPLO surgery, the little 3 inch piece of metal and 4 screws made my heart melt! The dam had broken! As I drove home I felt happy we had her back but incredibly sad for the reminder that she isn't with us!
I still haven't put her food bowl away, I can't bring myself to do it! I ran across her rain coat, sweaters and winter coats the other day and couldn't stop the flood! It will get easier but I know I will always have little reminders of her! Harley misses her like crazy and you can tell she has good days and bad days, this morning seemed like a rough day for her!
I have to keep telling myself today is a new day and it will be a good day!
Thanks for all the love!
This is her hardware!
This is what I have left of a beautiful friendship!
Her last photo! I love you Bella and miss you everyday!
